Till Dusk
by Yalaeinhorn2000
Summary: Jake and Nessie are best friends since the day she was born. Nothing can set them apart. But recently things has changed because Renesmee started to have felling she never felt before in her life.
1. Chapter 1

I'm sitting in my room and staring at the giant fir trees in front of me. Jake is out, Hunting. I decided to stay here.

I close my eyes and immediately have the think about him and his abs. His absolute mouthwatering abs. The way his mussels move, his wide shoulders... „Stop it, Nessi!" Jake and I are just friends, but I know myself to good, I have a giant crush on him for months now but I'm afraid to ruin everything. Jacob is my best friend since the day I was born, literally and figuratively. He never left my side for just one day. He was always here.

As a child, I always wished for a sibling, even though I know it was impossible for my parents to have more kids. I could count myself lucky because I had Jake but sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone about Jake stuff whit out Jake. I could talk whit mom but wouldn't that be awkward? Since I know that Jake ones were in love whither. I know that was a long time ago. Neither mom nor Jake had a clue that I would one day show up in there lives so I was okay whit that, even though it still thinks it's a little bit weird tbh.

I hear heavy steps on the stairs. Jake is back. „Nessie?" asks Jake and knocks on my Door. It opens and he comes inside. I can see him in the reflection of the Window.

I moved out of the Cottage about a year ago, so Mom and Dad would have more time for themselves. I decided to move into Dads olds Room. It's small but the view is breathtaking. The kiss on the back of my head takes me back to here and now. „Earth to Nessie?" My eyes meet Jakes in the reflection. „Everything Okay?" his warm hands rest on my shoulders. „How was the hunt?" I ask „Huntie." he replies and laughs. „What did you do in the spare time I that was gone?" „I had lunch, took a shower, set her in my room." ... and thought about your abs. „I gonna go under the shower too." he informs me „Movie afterward?" „You can pick one this time, my turn was last week." „Okay." We recently made it to a tradition to watch a movie together, every time after we went out to hunt. He leaves the room and shortly afterward I can hear the shower start running downstairs. The thought of Jake, whit nothing on makes the room suddenly 10 degrees hotter.

Of course, I already saw Jake shirtless or only in shorts but... thinking about his naked, hot chest on mine, his wide arms embracing me. His soft lips. Not that I ever got to feel them on mine but I felt them on my forehead and cheeks. They are warm and full and so damm soft and every time I get surrounded by his smell.

Everyone hates it, it's smell like wet dog to them but for me, it means comfort and home. My heart aches in my chest. I want him so badly, whit every inch of my body. I want him around me, always but it hurts so much at the same time because I can't have Jake the way I want. I probably thought to tell him about my feelings a million times before but I'm so afraid, I don't even know why.

„You're still here?" Jake voice scares me for a second and my heart skips a beat. For how long was I daydreaming, he literally just left the room. He stands in the doorframe, his black hair is still wet. He walks towards me „Renesmee what going on?" if he calls me by my full name, then it must be really serious, he never calls me like that. Jake takes my face into his big, warm hands and forces me that way to look into his eyes. „Did I do or said something wrong? I can't help you if I don't know what's going on, I can't read your mind like your Dad, even though I wished I could sometimes." I wished to, then I wouldn't break my mind about how to tell you that I love you, Jake. „Nothing." I lie. „Nessie, you know that I can see in your eyes when you lie." that right, he is a master in detecting me. „I just have a lot on my mind." „Give me your hand." he loses one of his hands on my cheek. No!! If I give him my hand he will see all my thoughts. After I started crushing on him I stopped showing. „Please Ness, you haven't shown me your thoughts in weeks, I miss it." how badly I want to show him everything. „Please." his voice wasn't more than just a whisper and for a second it looks like he's about to kiss me. Just do it, goddammit, please Jake! My heart screams in pain. I'm holding my breath waiting for it, but nothing happens.

Then he suddenly loses his hands and steps back. No! He can't do that to me! My chest hurts, so bad that I can't breathe properly. „Let's go downstairs," he said it like nothing just happened between us. Like we didn't just almost kissed each other. He turns to the Door and walks out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Still confused, I walk down the stairs behind Jake. What the hell just happened?! We almost kissed! The one thing that I wanted for months just almost happened. Everything feels like I'm deep under Water, everything is so far away.

Like a robot, whit no emotions, I sit down next to Jake on the couch in the living room. Mechanically I start the Tv and choose the next best film that I could found on Netflix. I have no clue what it is about and I don't care to be honest.

The space between me and Jake is so big that probably a third person could take a seat. Neither one of us says a word. The tension is so big that you could cut whit a knife through it.

My head is spinning and my thoughts are all over the place. If Jake would have feelings for me then he probably would have kissed me but when he doesn't have any... to be honest I don't even wanna think about this possibility.

The Door of the front porch opens and Mom and Dad step in. My Dad immediately realizes that something is very wrong. "Hey, Guys." Mom has a smile on her face that turns into confusion and then into blankness real quick.

I show Dad what happened between me and Jake in my thoughts and I can see the sadness in his eyes, but only for seconds before it's despairing. "Hey." Replies Jake that was focused on this stupid movie till now. "Did you had a good day?" Asks Dad and gives me a kiss on the forehand. I nod. "We only wanted to see after you tow." Makes Dad clear and looks a Mom. They both look so happy together. I wished I could have something similar whit Jake but right now I'm more Confused then Happy. "We gonna let you and Jacob alone." Says Dad and walks whit mom in his Hand the Porch. "Bye." Say Jake and me at the same time, before they despair into the forest again.

After the Movie ended, Jake gets up and stretches himself. "Time to go." I look at the Clock in the Kitchen. "Yes," I answer. The first word we Talked to each other in hours.

Jake stays at home on Monday and Wednesday so that he can spend time whit His Family. I wanted me so. Especially after his nephews was born two months ago. She is Rachel and Paul's second child. They already have a son called Alex. To know that Jake and Paul are the same ages but that one of them is already married, has kids and stopped shifting a year ago in order to get old with Rachel. It didn't hit him as hard as I thought it would be. Or not quite yet. Maybe in a couple of years.

A couple of Guys from the old pack also stopped transforming like Sam and Jared.

Jake will have to shift into his Wolf form for the rest of his life because I'm immortal and I can't live whit out him so he will have to stick around for a very long time.

He gives me a kiss on the forehead "See ya." He says and walks out of the house. Shortly afterward I hear him transform and running into the woods.

Now that I'm really alone, tears start filling my eyes and blur everything around me. I start to hyperventilate and sobbing. I want to punch something, someone.

Now that I'm really alone, tears start filling my eyes and blur everything around me. I start to hyperventilate and sobbing. I want to punch something, someone.

I get up and start running towards the cottage. I slam open the door and immediately ran into my mom's arms. "Renesmee what happened between you and Jake." She asks. I'm sure Dad already told her everything but she wants to hear it from me too. "We, we..."I start but I'm still sobbing loudly. "We were in my Room and Jake and me." I'm stuttering and try to breathe normally, through my nose in and out of my mouth. "We almost kissed each other but then he suddenly stopped and walked away as nothing happened and I'm so confused, mom what should I do?" "Calm down, everything will be fine." She strokes my head and looks me in the eyes. Dad walks whit a glass of Water and puts it next to me on the coffee table. "Please tell me what's going on in his mind, I need to know." I'm begging at him. "Sadly my dear I can't. I promised Jacob not to tell you." "Why?" Is asked him, and now tears fill up my eyes again. "He wants to tell you about it himself." "About what?" My heart beats so fast, I can hear it In my ears. "What's going on what everyone, no one is telling me anything these days," I say, confused and frustrated.

I must fall asleep on the couch because I woke up in my old room the next morning. I can already smell the breakfast Mom and Dad are making.

I walk into the Kitchen where mom is already stacking pancakes on a plate. Dad puts the maple syrup next to it. "Morning honey." "Morning." I reply and set down one of the barstools." The pancakes smell amazing. I suddenly remembered that the last time I eat anything was yesterday's lunch. "That's why we made you breakfast." Says Dad. I take a bit. I didn't even realize how hungry I was. "jake was here." says mom and I almost choked on my breakfast. "when?" I asked, "why didn't he wake me up?" "he came around 7 am. Just wanted to see you," informs me, dad." "where is he now?" "Jake told me that he would be in the forest somewhere but will be back before learning begins." mom says. I look at the clock. Now it's 8 am, I meet whit Esme in 30 minutes.

I decided to finish my breakfast and then go back to the main House. I have school in one hour. Technically it's Homeschool because I'm the one student in that class. Sometimes Jake tries to participate but loses his patience shortly afterward because he doesn't get a word about what I'm learning. He just sits there and eats sometimes or reads in old books about Werwolf legends.

I can already feel his presence as I walk up the stairs of the porch. It's like a magnet that pulls me into his direction. His Heart is beating as fast as usual.

Esme is already in the library, preparing everything. "Morning Nessie." She welcomes me and takes me into a hug. "Morning." I repay and smile at her. The Door opens and Jake walks in. We just sta each other for a long second. "Morning Jake." I try to say but my voice is cracking up. "Morning." He replies and sits down on the table. I can feel a sharp pain in my heart because this was the first time since I can remember that Jake didn't give me a kiss on my head when he sees me in the morning. I swallow hard.

I try to not make it obvious that I'm really hurt, but I have difficulties to consecrate.

After school whit Esme I have Piano lesson whit Dad, not that there would be anything new for me to learn but I love to play whit him together. It calms me down a little bit, usually. Jake is sitting in the corner and reading when he suddenly gets up and leaves the room whit out any explanation. "Jake? Where are you going?" I getting up to get him but Dad holds me back. "Nessie. Just let him." "What going on Dad?" "What's wrong with him?" Dad puts me down. "He just needs time."

I run upstairs into my room, more frustrated, angry and confused than ever before. Dad promised Jake not no tell me what's wrong with him." Thanks, Dad for bags tabbing me.

I walk towards my bed when I see a little envelope whit my name on it. I can detect this handwriting from a million miles. My name is written in his scrawly handwriting. But my feeling says that this Letter will not bring me any good because he wrote my full name on it and that can never be something good.


	3. Chapter 3

**_My dearest Renesmee._**

 ** _I know that you probably don't want to read this letter and that you must be confused as hell and I'm so sorry for That. I Never meant to hurt you. You are My best friend and I want nothing more than make you happy and I'm sure that you want nothing more than the same for me, but lately, I feel that things have changed and I think its better if we take, or better I should, a timeout._**

I read this Paragraph over and over again, but it doesn't want to go into My Head.

 ** _I gonna go into the forest for a while but will come back to check on you to make sure that you're fine. I will come over again later and I hope you can forgive me._**

 ** _\- Jake_**

He wants to leave me and I don't even know why.

My eyes start to fill up whit tears and blur my view. I fall on my knees and sob loudly. What did I do that Jake wants to leave and rather lives in the forest? I can't live without him. We have never been longer apart than 12 hours, how does he imagen that this will work. He just can't run away when he feels like it.

My head swirls and I decided to lay down for a bit. I'm freezing and shaking, like an addicted person, that drug they took away. Only did my Drug decided to run away from me then rather getting taken by someone.

I don't have a feeling of a time when I wake up a couple of hours later. Dad sits next to me on the bed and reads. "You slept for 2 hours and talked in your dream." about Jake, I think. Dad nods. "was he hear?" I ask, knowing that he was not. "You just answered your one question. I'm sorry Nessie." "It's okay." I lay, but dad says nothing. "Rosalie brought you something to eat." he points whit his eyes to my nightstand. On it is a sandwich and a glass of juice. "Thanks, Dad but I'm not hungry." I don't look at him because I know how he feels about that.

I decide to take a bath to relax and forget the world around me, even just for a couple of minutes.

A knock on the door takes me out of my trance. "Ness? you already in that tub for almost an hour." Rose sounds concerned. "I know that there's a lot going on between you and Jakob. Do you want to talk?" "Not really," I say honestly. "But thanks." "Just say it and I kick his ass to the moon and back, you know I would do anything for you." I have to giggle against my will. "I will give you a codeword when its time." "Just say, I will be there." then I hear her walk away and it gets quiet again.

What Jake must be up to? I'm thinking and immediately hate myself for it. Doesn't matter I force myself to think.

I go out of the bath because it's supposed to help me not think about him.

To distract me even further, I diced to watch some spot whit Emmett but I can barely concentrate and give up after 30 minutes and call Jake, even though I know that he left his phone at home and runs somewhere through the forests. "Give up Ness, you know him, he's not home," Emmett says it without looking at me. I know his right. I text him one more message before I put my phone away concentrate on the game.

In the end, the team we wanted to win, wins. At least someone who's got what they wanted.

The weather outside the next morning is as terrible as I feel. Everything is grey and gloomy. A storm is coming up, I can feel it in my bones, exactly like Jake.

A bolt of lightning brightens my room. I slowly count to 10 ... then a loud thunder occurs. That was 10 secondary, means the storm is just 2 miles away from us.

A couple of minutes later, another lighting blod, this time it only 2 seconds between the thunder, that means the storm is approximately 1 yard away.

In exactly this moment, my heart starts to beat faster and a strong feeling pulls me out of the House into the forest. That only can mean...

Jake is back.


	4. Chapter4

I fly down the stairs, taking three steps at the time. Deeply glad that I didn't inherit my mom's human clumsiness and speed into the direction of Jakes heartbeat.

Without much thinking, I run into his arms and crush against this warm, big, amazing smelling chest and for a second all my pain and anxiety that I felt are gone because I'm where I belong, in his arms.

Gosh! how much I missed him, even though we only were separated for a couple of hours, it certainly felt like years. I don't know how I will manage to survive this if he really will leave me for the forest.

His Shirt is wet from the rain outside. But I don't care and press myself deeper into his torso.

He moves his left arm and slowly beginning to place his tump under my chin and lift my head up so that I'm forced to look at him. Jake looks down at me. Kiss Me!! My mind is screening at him. He's so much taller than me. I wish I could just claim up his body like King Kong did up the Empire State building and kiss Jake till our lips fall off.

"I have to go." his words bring me back to the ground. "No, stay. You have been here for less than five minutes." "I didn't plan on staying long. I only came to check on you as I promised." I shake my head. "Stay." "I can't. I will leave soon but will come back once a week to see after you. I will not be far away, near the border maybe." I shake my head again. "I'm so sorry Nessie." his voice isn't more than a whisper as he carefully pushes me away from his body. He bows down and gives me a kiss on my forehead. No, this can't be it. I grab his shirt and refuse to let go. "Ness don't make it harder than it already is." "Why are you leaving me then when it's so hard for you." my words are harsh. "I don't know." he says and I can see the pain in his eyes. "Then don't go, Jacob." I'm Drop-dead serious if I call him by his full name and he knows that. "I have no other choice." "You always have a choice." I correct him.

"Goodbye Renesmee." He touches my cheek. "There's no need to say goodbye." Now I'm the one whispering "Why?" "It's too permanent. I will see you soon, not soon enough for my personal taste but I will have you again by my side and I will be here, waiting for you." I will always wait for him, even when that's means until the end of time. Without another word, he turns around and walks away. Leaving me standing in our hallway as I hear him running into the forest and taking all that's left of me whit him.


End file.
